A few observations.

I hate men.

Okay, that's too harsh- I hate my husband.

Okay, that's not true either. I hate his ability to lose weight. For the past 4 days- yeah, you friggin heard me right- FOUR- he has been "dieting" in an effort to lower his cholesterol. He has also been taking the drug alli. Yeah, I hear ya'll. It couldn't possible be working already, right?

Yup, it is. His face is already slimmer and he is losing his gut.

What a crock of hooey this is. You know how long I have been trying to lose weight? FOUR years! I have to sweat and run my ass off to budge last night's salad of bean sprouts and carrots and this yahoo comes in with his little pills and his little diet and starts to lose weight just like that?

SOMEBODY JUS FRIGGIN SHOOT ME ALREADY! (but make sure you tell me at least half an hour beforehand so I can gorge myself on chocolate and lasagna, k? thanks.)

That's it....I'm gonna go eat ice cream straight outta the carton- in bed, while watching bad tv. He can keep his little pills and his diet. I give up.

His skinny ass can also sleep on the guest bed, since my ever widening one is taking up more of the bed than it ever has.

Rocky road anyone?