Thursday, November 18, 2010

In which I wax poetic. Or just my legs. Or none of the above.

I am utterly in love with my life. I love my kids, I love my hubs, I love my new house.

I am blessed.


There are days. Oh there are days. When I am so overwhelmed by 5 PM that I want to drink. That I yell. That I take frustration out on my kiddos. That I want to run away. Far away.

I had a day like this a few weeks ago. I left the kids with Mark and walked out. I drove aimlessly, seething with anger that came from nowhere. And then I pulled into a parking lot and had a complete breakdown.

There was crying, sniffling, yelling and pounding the steering wheel. There may have even been blowing of my nose on my sleeve because I NEVER have tissues. So then I was upset and had a crusty arm.

I digress.

Anywho, here's the thing. Being a mom is fabulous. But it is so easy to get lost under all of that. It is easy to let your kids define you. To say -I am ONLY a mother. But I'm not.

I am a woman. I am a writer. I am creative. I love to read. I love to craft. I love to sit in the sun and pray to a God that I don't get to spend nearly enough time with.

Yes, I am a mom. But I am more. I have a soul that needs nurturing. I need to be taken care of too. I need to be held, loved, and asked if I need anything. I need to be cooked for, prayed for, and have my spiritual tank filled up once in a while.

It doesn't happen as much as I would like. I find that somne days I am so utterly depleted by my role in the world that I want to crawl under the covers and cry myself to sleep. I need to draw from something bigger than myself, to hear words that are just for me, encouragement for my soul- not as a mother, but as myself.

Does this make sense?

I was speaking to a friend yesterday, and she told me that she finds herself with little patience some days. She feels isolated and as if she only watches babies all day.

Oh how I can relate. Her tank is empty. Through no fault of her own, she has run down and is looking at the world and wondering where SHE is in HER life. It is so easy to get there.

Are you expecting answers to this dilemma? Yeah, I don't have any. I don't know how to fix it. But I DO know something that draws me upward through the depths when I am in that place.


Ahem. Just kidding. Kinda. Not really.

In addition to chocolate, it is other mamas. It is talking, laughing, and crying with other moms who know right where you are. We ALL love our children. But we all need more than just loving our children. We need to nurture our souls as well, in order to better nurture the little souls we have been given.

So, I have a challenge for you. Reach out to another mama today. Call someone you know might need an uplifting word. Take brownies to a friend. (I'm not saying me, per se...but...) Pray for all the mamas you know, that they may have a moment to sit in the sun today, and to know they are MORE than their role as mom.

Together we can help each other feel uplifted and in turn, be better mamas to our little ones. The world can change with one act of kindness.

You may proceed in singing "Kum By-a" now, although I prefer "Lady Marmalade". Your choice. Have a great day!