Put Sam and Lily in tub.
Sam takes off his diaper.
Clean him up quickly so he doesn't poop in tub.
Take his screaming hiney into his room.
Load him up with lotion just as Lily calls out that she has to poop.
Try to get a grip on Sam to put him in crib. Give up cause he is greased like a pig.
Run to Lily. Wash her up quick, dry her, put her on toilet.
Turn around to see my son is covered head to toe in powder.
Catch him as he slips on the wet tile.
Fall on my butt on the wet tile while holding him.
Tell Lily to stop laughing.
Take Sam to his room, still greased and slippy.
Chuck him into his crib, turn around and see that his room is covered in powder.
Yell inappropriate words.
Tell Sam to stop laughing.
Remember Lily is still on the potty.
Run in to clean her up. She hands me toilet paper with a sigh and disgusted look.
Apologize.
Spring Sam from crib. Start dressing him.
Lily screams from her room.
Run to her, slipping on wet tile again.
Kiss toe booboo.
Remember Sam is loose, the bathroom is open, the toilet seat up.
Scramble to the bathroom.
Find a whole roll of toilet paper on floor.
Yell inappropriate words.
Tell Sam to stop laughing.
Apologize to Lily for said words.
Drag Sam to Lilys room, dress Lily.
Turn around to see Sam throwing himself off the window seat.
Catch him by the head.
Feel like supermom for a sec until my back seizes up.
Yell and fall over on floor.
Apologize for yelling.
Moan. Give Sam the evil eye for laughing.
Sit up because Sam is yanking my bun and glasses.
Stumble to kitchen.
Pop 6 advil.
Get back just in time to see Sam throw himself from the window seat again.
Take him to kitchen. Give him ibuprofen.
Give Lily Tylenol for good measure.
Sit on the couch with both.
Catch Sam as he throws himself from couch, but knock Lily off couch in the process.
Hold both while they cry.
Cry a little too.
How long til bedtime?
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