Yesterday I had my first psyc evaluation for the surgery.
I was nervous, but my aunt and Mark sent me off with a cheerful- "If you aren't back in 2 hours we will assume they threw you into the looney bin!"
Loving support. It's essential.
*huge eye roll*
So I walked into the office with paperwork in hand- 17 pages of paperwork.
I was shown back into my therapists office.
She was beautiful and skinny. I wanted to hate her.
But she was also funny and kind and sweet. So I had to like her.I hate it when that happens.
We talked alot about my history with weight, how long I have struggled with it- 23 years- and what my goal weight will be after surgery.
I said 160-170.
She nodded, but looked me dead in the eye and said- "You know you may lose more than that."
Well, no. I hadn't considered that. I don't know what losing that much weight would actually feel like.
How will I fit in my skin? What will I wear? How will I look? It will still be me, but will I look like me?
She also pointed out that I may get some very unwelcome attention from men.
I hadn't considered that either.
Being fat is isolating. It keeps people, especially men, from paying much attention to me.
And if I begin to get comments it's really gonna piss me off. If just the fact that I am slimmer makes men think they can then comment on my looks, I am gonna end up punching somebody in the mouth.
Well not really. I won't punch them. But I will definitely think about it.
I also had to take the most random psych test ever on the computer. True/false. 165 strange questions. So far that has been the most painful part of this experience.
So. We are down to one more psych appointment, and 2 dietician classes before I have my final appt with the doc.
One down, 4 to go.
