Thursday, December 3, 2009


Dear OB's office,

Well, we made it 32 weeks without you pissing me off. Last time it was only 9 weeks, so I congratulate you.

I'm gonna fill you in on a few things, k?

You are offering a service to ME. I am paying YOU. I put money in your pockets. You are not doing me a favor by deigning to have me as a patient. I am respectful to you and your staff, but that's gonna change soon if your staff keeps acting like their head is lodged firmly where the sun don't shine.

When I call to reschedule an appointment, can you not act like a total jerk because you have to do your JOB???!!! Huh??? Can you just make it easy? Huh? A little compassion maybe, when I tell you I don't have childcare for my appt... it's not like I'm bailing to get my nails done or a bikini wax, for God's sake.

I don't like Dr.-----. I WILL NOT see him under any circumstances. Yes, I know he has an open appt every damn day when all the other docs are booked. There's a reason for this. He's creepy and inappropriate and I am surprised he hasn't been brought up on charges of malpractice. If he is on call the day I deliver, I will be taking a resident. That's how strongly I feel. When I tell you I won't see him for personal reasons, there is no need to be snippy. I am entitled to say NO, despite the fact that you are deigning to see me.

The waiting room. Is it too much to ask for a People magazine while I wait for you to get your crap together to see me an hour after my appt was scheduled? Instead, I am stuck with retirement monthly. It's an OB's office- spring for a Cosmo,eh?

Your nasty nurse in the lab. She sucks. She has no personality, and she can't take vitals for crap. She never smiles. She never makes small talk. She snaps her gum in my face. I can't stand her. Neither can anyone else, including the rest of your staff. Fire her, and you will have alot more happy preggo people.

I AM NOT A COW IN YOUR HERD. DON'T TREAT ME LIKE ONE. Don't shuffle me in and get rid of me as soon as possible. Your male OB's, for the most part, suck. Your female OB's rock. That's why you can never get an appt with them. None of the males truly LISTEN. And if you don't listen, especially in your field, you could miss something very crucial.

So why do I stay, you ask? Simply put, you are supposed to be the best OB office in town, and my fave doc in the whole world works for you. She delivered my daughter with such care, concern, and professionalism that I had to stay for the second baby. But frankly, I feel like cattle each time I come to your office. I don't care so much for myself, but for the small being I am carrying, could you please treat me with some dignity and listen to me for once?

Fat chance, huh? Well, I had to try.