Friday, January 21, 2011

Samuel Elijah

Dear Sam,

One year. I still can't believe it. You are a year old. I should believe it since you are the size of a 2 year old, but I don't. That's a mama for ya. :)

I can't tell you what life was like before you. It was wonderful and beautiful with our sweet Lily, but we were waiting for you. We prayed for you and called to your spirit, asking you to be with us.

And you did.

The day you were born was tough. The labor was difficult, and when you were born you didn't cry. We were so scared...and then you opened your tiny mouth and yelled like a lion. The next morning when I came to hold you and nurse you, I fell so deep in love with you my heart felt too big for my chest. I looked at your face, I kissed your head, and I knew that nothing in life was better than holding you. Nothing.

You are a fighter, Sammy. You had surgery at 7 months old. Your ears were so full of fluid from repeated ear infections that you couldn't hear. We were worried you wouldn't ever speak.

You have definitely proved us wrong there.

I have never known a child to be so loud. You yell. You howl. You pick up your play telephone and screech "Hoooooow?" You yell when your sister takes your toy, when we tell you no, or when things don't go your way.

But you also smile, and melt our hearts. You light up the room with your big grin. You cuddle when you are sleepy, holding your woobie to your face and falling deep into dreamland. You melt us, everyday.

You have alot of words now- Gidu "didu", hello "hoooow", all done "ahhda!", lily "eeeeleeee", mama, dada, hohoho, etc. You make signs for all done, more, drink. You communicate with grunts and head banging sometimes, and we wonder if you are part caveman. :)

You are so bold, walking into any situation without care. You lead with your head at all times, never showing the slightest bit of hesitation. You have no fear. This in turn assures I will be fully gray and daddy will be fully bald within a year.

I wish there were words for how much I love you. Some way to convey it. I can only say that I love you so deeply my heart hurts. I hold you and smell your head and my world becomes only you. I see your smiling face and I smile. You are my sweetest baby boy, and I adore you more than words can say.

Love, always and forever,