Wednesday, July 7, 2010


Dear Lily,

For three years you have been by my side. My shadow, my life, my love. You have been my everything. You have given me so much more than I have ever given to you.

But yesterday it occured to me that soon I will have to let you out into the world. The world that may not look upon your face and love every single thing about you. A world that may not appreciate your joyful heart, yourchattery lips, your sweetest of souls.

A world that will see you simply as another person. A student. A face in the crowd. A child to care for, and not out of love...but obligation.

I don't want to give you up yet, my sweet love. But it is drawing near. Separation is good and healthy.

My head knows this. But my heart says otherwise.

Someday I won't be there when you fall. I won't see somebody fling their cruel words on you. I won't be able to scoop you up and soothe the hurt.

You will be on your own.

So when that day comes, my sweet love, know this: I will always be here when you get home. The door will always open, and your mama will always be there. I will let you fall apart. I will let you tell me all of your troubles. I will listen and love you and appreciate you...even when others do not.

I cannot prevent the hurt from coming. It happens to us all, my love. Hurt feelings, cruelty, sadness. I wish I could keep you here forever, in this little bubble of love that is our home.

But even as the world contains hurt, it also contains joy. You will have friends and laugh and find wonder out there. You will learn and grow and gain confidence. You will find others who look at your beautiful face and see you for who you are, and love you for who you are.

But always remember, I have carried you. I have held you. I have loved you and known you. I will be the strongest force of love this earth will hold for you, my precious precious daughter. Only heaven can contain a love stronger than this.

So when you need to be seen, to be loved, and to be treasured, come to me. When the world is cruel and you don't understand it, come to me. When you need a hand to hold in silence, a strong presence at your back, arms to wrap you up, and words to bring you back to joy, come to me.

I may have to send you out into the world, but I will also shelter you from it.