Friday, July 23, 2010

One last summer

The days are hot. Everything is wilting in the heat. Bumblebees buzz lazily in our yard. The flowers lean over with thirst. The world outside of our house shimmers.

And inside our house, it is us. We spend each day singing, dancing, coloring, watching sesame street and baking cookies. We are insulated from the world here, in our little bubble of family.

And I know that it is the last summer we will be like this. The last summer we won't be rushing, busy and busier each day. With classes and soccer and school, dinners and playdates and pool time. When the sun rises and sets without me noticing. When the warm days are gone in a blink.

It is the last summer Lily will be entirely mine. The last summer we will spend without anyone else's influence. Ours, these last few days. Days of heat and naps curled like kittens. Days of giggles and baths and snacks and endless chatter. Singing Bob Marley and James Taylor, dancing to Lady Gaga and Beyonce.

I've had my sweet girl to myself for 3 summers now. We have played, planted flowers and tomatoes and herbs. We have run in the sprinkler and baked cupcakes. We've painted and eaten popsicles in the sun. We've learned about each other, and our days follow a rhythym like a heartbeat.

But she is 3. And next summer she will be 4- that magical age where friends and school become so important. She will want to go to a friends house and play, instead of stay home with me. She will hop out of the car at school and not look back. She will whisper and giggle with friends. She will be in a circle, with me on the outside. For three years I have been the I will be watching her create her own.

So this one last summer is what I am asking for. For her to spend these last heavy, heated days being my girl. When she will ask for me to rock her, read her a book, bake cookies. When we will go to the pool, the park, and the museum. We will explore together, dig in the dirt, play games and laugh. One last summer to enjoy her before there is no baby left in my baby.

Already she is so much older. She is taller, her legs brown, her toes pointed like a ballerina. She is opinionated and funny. She is sassy and silly. She grows each day, her braids getting longer, her face thinner. She has lost the babyface she always had, and now when I look at her I can see the beautiful young lady she will be.

But not yet. Because for this one last summer, she is mine. And I will soak up every warm, lazy, and beautiful moment.