Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Before and After

1- Before Lily- I used to be smug when I completed a crossword puzzle within a 1/2 hour. In pen, just cause I am hardcore like that.

After Lily- I am smug when I figure out Blue's Clue's before Steve does. (go ahead and laugh- it's harder than it sounds, dude)

2. Before Lily- I was a card carrying nanny nazi with 5 trillion rules for proper child rearing. My motto was -Expect good behavior and you will get it.

After Lily- Yeah right. Chances are if you hear a kid screaming in Wal Mart, she's mine. If you hear "Oh for God's holy loving cotton pickin sake, fine, get down and walk!!! If you get lost don't come crying to me!!" then it's definitely me. For my sake, pretend not to see me.

3. Before Lily- I had stacks and stacks of all the latest music. I was up on all the new artists. I was a font of useless music trivia.

After Lily- I am a font of music, still- "Lalalalalala Elmo's world. I love you, you love me...please kill me and set me free".

4. Before Lily- I had a beauty regimine to rival Tammy Faye's. I had a thousand different tubes of mascara. I had mousturizer by the gallon. I had eyeliner for every mood.

After Lily- I am lucky to have a face not smeared with oatmeal or worse. My mascara is crumbly, my eyeliner down to a stub I sharpen with my teeth. I count myself lucky to bathe everyday, much less apply lotion.

5. Before Lily- I shaved every day.

After Lily- I shave when my leg hair threatens to rip my workout pants or I look like I have buckwheat in a headlock.

6. Before Lily- I was manicured, pressed, shampooed, madeup, and dressed before 8 am.

After Lily- I wake up, shower, and put on fresh jammies.

7. Before Lily- I never thought I bedtime would take more than a few minutes. Night night, in the bed, lights out, dont care if ya cry.

After Lily- I spend at least 5 minutes next to her crib for one more kiss, one more listen to her babble, to smell her little head. I miss her the moment I close her door.

8. Before Lily- I dreamed of traveling the world.

After Lily- My daughter's face is the only part of this world I wish to see. She is my Egypt, my China, my Bermuda, my Carribbean. She is my world, my life, my love, my joy.

Yes, life has changed. I traded writing for diaper changing, intellectual pursuits for Sesame Street, jeans for jammies, and gourmet cuisine for hot dogs and pasta.

And it is good. It is right. And it is all I have ever wanted.