Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I will carry your name.

Yesterday I was gabbing with some girls after SS, and the baby came up in conversation. Someboy asked how far along I was, and when I replied "5 weeks" she said "You're so brave to tell people." I mentioned something along the lines of not putting stock in all that bad luck stuff and we moved on.

But the truth is much deeper than that. Deeper and simpler. It can be summed up in five words.

I believe in my God.

He knows what the plan is. I don't have to. If my life has taught me anything, it is that one simple fact. I am a passenger here. I am not the driver.

If I believe this much in my God, I also believe He is in control of my life. He has surrounded me with those He knows will love me and care for me. He has shown me, over and over, that loyalty and friendship is returned threefold.

I share the news of the baby without fear, without reservation, and without worry, because ultimately what happens is not in my hands. It's in His. And were this pregnancy to fail, the people He has given to surround me will be the same who hold me up. Those who dance with me now in joy will hold me in sorrow.

Because that's what you do for those you love. You dance with them in joy, you halve their burdens with a willing heart, your mourn with them. You sit without speaking. You laugh through tears, and you take their name to the throne when there is nothing else you can do.

You carry their name to the One who can, and does, comfort and save. You bring their name as an offering on your lips to the throne of Christ. You ask Him to replenish what has been lost, comfort what cannot be comforted, bring joy and love and happiness again after a season of loss. You let the name of the one you love fall freely and without reservation from your mouth, over and over through tears and clasped hands.

You ask for love and joy for a friend who has endured the loss of a marraige, and it's promise of a forever love.

You ask for spiritual growth and uplifting for one who is down.

You ask for strength for one that has made a decision to break an addiction.

You ask for the strength of a union to be renewed and made whole again.

You ask for the broken to be mended.

You carry their name in your heart, and you take it humbly to Christ.

I am not a Bible scholar. I don't go to church often. I am not what others may refer to as a "good christian". But if you are mine, and I am yours, rest assured your name is on my lips often. Even if you don't believe. Even if there is hurt between us. I will carry your name to Him.