Thursday, February 19, 2009

This for that...

Okay, maybe I am just weird...but do you ever look around at the grocery store and see something is misplaced and wonder if the person who left it there sat it down and picked up something else as a substitute?

No? Okay, the cheese stands alone.

Well anyway, I was at Wal Mart yesterday killing time and I noticed the Easter candy was already out. Firstly, I was friggin shocked that the easter candy is out already-I mean, come on! I was just starting to describe my righteous indignation to Lily when I noticed the Cadbury Eggs were on display. I then went into fits of hysterical giggles and began chanting "Chocate! Chocate!!! Yeeeeeeaaaaaahhhh Chocate!!!!" I think I may have also pumped my fist into the air and did a little air guitar as well.

No, I have no dignity. I am a mother. Ahem.

Anywho, as I was picking up and sniffing the nougaty, carmely, chocolatey deliciousness I noticed a real package of eggs had been left on top of the Cadburys. Wonder of wonders that I could think in my sugar driven haze, but I began to wonder if the person who had left the wholesome breakfast staple had indeed given them up for a few Cadburys.

Not that I don't fully understand that choice, but it led me to do some thinking.

How many times in our life do we give up something good for something bad?

The good guy for the bad boy. The salad for the pizza. The better way for the feel better in the moment sin.

I know I am guilty of it, everyday. I sometimes choose the easy road with Lily- the TV show, the movie, the easy dinner. Instead of putting in the effort to make things better in the long run, I chose what serves me now. Instead of thinking of what a choice for me might mean in the long run- say choosing pizza over a healthy stir fry, I am pleasing myself NOW, but ruining myself later. Instead of taking the time to think through my decisions and pray, I sometimes just jump in.

All of this thinking yesterday led me to wonder a few things about myself. I know I have a food addiction. I LOVE food. I love sweets. I try not to eat them, but if they are here in the house, I usually give in. It's not a part of myself that I like, and it makes me feel very weak and stupid.

There are many corners of my life that are not in as good of control as I would like, but since this is the most obvious, I decided to focus on it.

Here's the thing. Food is fuel. It is meant to simply sustain our bodies. But it has been twisted so badly by our society, that it has begun to take on an almost sexual quality. It is not seen as fuel for muscles and bones, but as something sensual and intoxicating.

We eat too much, but it's no wonder. We are surrounded by food, by commercials about food, by food food food. And most of it bad. Ask yourself this- when was the last time you saw a head of lettuce, a pear, a carrot, an apple advertised in a magazine or tv? But how long ago did you see the latest burger or ice cream?

Last night I started reading a book called "Skinny Bitch". Horrible title, full of vulgarity on every page...but nonetheless, tells in no uncertain terms how we are poisoning our bodies. Refined sugar, refined flour, pesticide laden meat, dairy, and fruits and veggies. Caffine, artificial sweeteners...I could go on and on.

Don't even get me started on the chapter about meat and the slaughtering process. You will be hard pressed to ever get me to eat meat again. Ever. And that's saying alot from this Nebraska farm girl.

I can't say that I agree with all tenents of the book. I don't think I can give up dairy. I can cut down and go organic...but I won't cut it out. But I do agree with the premise that there is no FOOD in our food anymore. Everything is processed. The only thing that is recognizeable as it is in nature is fruits and veggies, but cant see pesticides.

I have a point. Maybe. My point is this...I have gone long enough in my life fooling myself that substituting my future health for my momentary pleasure is okay. It's not okay. Because frankly, if I fail to take care of myself now, who will care for my child LATER?

You can substitute many things in your life, but your mother is not one of them.